I’m Danielle. I’m 25 years old, and I’m divorced…from my colleague who still works down the hallway.
We came to Piedmont College while we were engaged, both taking jobs in the athletic department and were married just over two years. Life together had its ups and downs as any marriage does, but we were better apart than together.
It just so happens that apart still means together for now at department staff meetings, college-wide functions, and championship events.
I was offered my current position as Director of Athletic Communications in January 2017, moving from being an assistant for three years to the big chair. Two months later, I was separated, moving out of my house, finding an apartment, and shuffling the entirety of my personal life while in our busiest season of the school year.
Oh…and I had this new job as the boss while operating a man down in crossover season. It was ultimate chaos and it was exhausting.
A very select few knew all that was going on during the spring semester. Even fewer knew that anything had changed in my life outside of a job title. I wanted to excel at my job and prove I was capable of my newest responsibilities without gaining sympathy because of my personal matters.
Any flaw in my work and I immediately felt stigmatized as the girl going through a divorce who couldn’t handle life’s pressures and maintain balance.
I used work as an excuse to hide from dealing with my issues. I was too busy. We were short staffed and I needed to pick up the slack. Any excuse to keep from dealing with the fact that no matter how much I knew life was better this way, it still hurt.
It’s ok for it to hurt. It’s ok to mourn the loss of a relationship and the stability of life you once held so close. It’s also ok to ask for help and say no occasionally.
Surround yourself with good people. Find someone to confide in and spend time with others, but don’t forget to grow and work on improving yourself too.
Find your worth. Know you’re good enough. I didn’t think I was ready for a promotion. I also didn’t think anyone could be interested in some washed up 25-year old divorcee in the future.
Your job does not define you. Your relationship status does not define you. Your past does not define you.
You are. That’s it. Fill it in with whatever you need, but know that you are.
Enough. Worthy. Loveable. Cherished.
Love again. Love anyway. Love always.