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No One is Going to Change You But You

May 24, 2018

A year ago, I was well on my way to getting into probably the best shape of my adult life. By July 2017, I had lost nearly 45 pounds. I quit drinking (except for special occasions) and was eating extremely healthy. I was running every day, sometimes up to six or seven miles a day. I made a goal to run a half marathon in 2018 and training had begun. I even picked the half that I would do, set to take place shortly after basketball season would end for me.

Then I was hired at Syracuse (yay!) and everything changed. While in between jobs (literally home on Christmas), I sprained my ankle really, really badly. It took me three months to be able to wear heels again. Anyone who knows me knows that is tragic in itself. I obviously could not run or train for my half during that time so those plans went out the window.


When I was finally able to put sneakers on the weather was appalling for someone who loves running outside and recently moved from North Carolina to consider. According to, Syracuse is the snowiest city in the U.S. We average 110 inches of snowfall per year. It snowed two and a half weeks ago. I am not kidding.  

During this break from running the streets, my eating habits have gone out the window. I am drinking an alarmingly high rate of beer again (can’t quit the Coors lattes) and I could list on one hand the amount of times I have cooked a meal in my seriously outdated kitchen in my nearly hundred-year-old house. I eat fast food more than I have in probably the last 10 years combined (I hate fast food) and the sight of salad makes me want to barf lately. Fried food is my best friend. BAD.


In less than two months’ time, I am set to receive the CoSIDA Rising Star Award – something I have worked extremely hard in my career for. I am absolutely dreading getting up on stage to receive this award because I have gained a significant amount of weight back and let’s be honest, I feel like crap about myself.


I am not writing this because I want you to feel sorry for me. I am not writing this because I am saying that my aforementioned eating habits and lifestyle are wrong. If they work for you, that is great. They don’t work for me.

I am writing this to hold myself accountable. I am not happy with where I am right now and I know I have to dig myself out of a hole again. That is it. No more “tomorrow I will start” or “I can cheat this one time on my diet.” It is time I make a change.


I am 27, and weight gets harder to lose the older you get. A good portion of my family is overweight and although I will never wear a size 0, I would like to have one digit in my pants size by the time I am 30. However, that would be an ultimate goal.


If you’re in the same boat, female or one of our male readers, young or old(er) – join me.


It’s time I take back my life.


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